The other day I (Ben) was sitting in the car, parked in the drive way, just biding my time for bringing in yet another haul of groceries… and I felt just flat out exasperated.
My soul was trying to tell me something, it was pointing me to something deeper…
Could it be that we need a new system or routine? No that can’t be it, because, as new subscribers already know, the grocery-agenda-meal plan routine does actually work!
However, does that make the routine any less routine? NO!
Back to the story… I was sitting there-in the parked car-and I was really just kinda mustering up the motivation to start moving again, and quite frankly, having a hard go of it!
Somehow the thought of dragging in bag after bag, repeat trip after repeat trip-the threat of these measly paper bags shredding at any moment, and gallons of kombucha flowing down the streets of Costa Mesa-was just too much to bare!
Is the chore itself particularly taxing? No.
But I have a sneaking suspicion it was the monotony of the chore that was driving me crazy.
If I’ve heard my wife say it once, I’ve heard her say it a dozen times-what she calls ‘monotony of motherhood’ or the ‘ministry of the mundane.’
If you’re a parent, you get it. Some days it just feels like rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, RINSE AND REPEAT!
And by the way, if I have to “rinse and repeat” another pint of hand soap that my toddlers have dumped out onto the floor, I might just lose my mind.
And now we are getting to the point of this post… what do you do when the fatigue of monotony or the fatigue of emotions finally brings you to the breaking point?
There can be only one solution: soul-care (and not “self-care”)…
What’s the difference you may ask? We’ll tell you.
Here are 5 key differences and how you can hydrate your deeply parched soul for the everyday important ministry God has called you to!
1. They are guaranteed encounters with God (not self)
They do not get you place or status with God. Remember that is what saving faith is.
But they are one of thee best ways we know to place ourselves in the presence of God, hear his voice and know how to respond…
2. They are means, not ends (of which Christ is both the means and the ends)
For the legalistic Christian in the room, and remember we are all recovering legalists! Beware!
These are means not ends. We place ourselves in a space where the Holy Spirit can do his thing and if all we get is Christ-perfect.
Because he is the means and the ends…
This is where we must be careful not to try and govern or “supervise” as Jon Thompson says, ‘the spiritual practices or lives of others, we only ensure that we are walking the walk ourselves…’
Which gives way nicely to #3…
3. They are important for checking motives & heart postures
From confession, to fasting to secrecy these great practices are powerful for checking our motives, purifying our hearts, which Jesus is WILD about…
You see this over and over again from Jesus, Matthew 6 alone includes these challenging checks:
When giving dont let your left hand know what your right hand is doing
When fasting, put on oil and makeup and fresh garb and don’t let people see! And on and on and on
This offers a dramatic critique of self care… how? Why?
Dallas Willard says, “the desperate attempts for people to advertise themselves is truly a sign of unbelief for it reveals that they need the attention of others and not the divine.”
4. They are vital for becoming like Jesus (the fullest expression of “self”)
If maturity in the faith is defined in the most simple, biblical of terms “image and likeness of jesus” (2 cor 3:18)
Then the following verse will become pivotal for us:
“So Jesus answered them, “I tell you the solemn truth, the Son can do nothing on his own initiative, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, the Son does likewise.” - John 5:19 NET
If we want to become like him, we must commit ourselves to do what he did.
But don’t miss the incredible wonder that is Christianity - the premise of that statement - we can become like him!
5. They are important for empowering ministry & mission (not just “me time”)
Things like spiritual disciplines (friendship, study, sabbath, fasting) are are vital for re-filling the parched and weary soul… Jesus was filled for his remarkable task, so must we be.
“[and that you would] know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” - Ephesians 3:19 NET
Here are a few examples of spiritual disciplines-founded in scripture- that you might relate to; go online and figure out how do build them into your weekly habits.
confession, celebration, chastity; prayer; fasting; study; service; solitude; simplicity; silence; secrecy… and these are oh so good.
As you go online and dig deeper for yourself, just remember one key qualifier-found in scripture. There’s a lot of junk out there that is very thinly related to the person and practice of Jesus and it’s important to know the difference.
These are not just opinions, these are not some new age mysticism, these are certainly so much more than “self help”… these are deeply biblical practices instructed AND lived out by Jesus.
So give it a shot. Your work as a parent or family member is too important to lead from an empty well.
We pray that as you continue this journey you would find rest and satisfaction in Christ.
-Ben & Rylee
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