How much of life is trial and error? Recently our staff at the church went through a training on year-end habits and evaluations. One of the lines read: Focus on faithfulness over intensity… Spiritual growth is rarely the result of dramatic moments, but of ordinary obedience practiced over time. And the same is true of parenting: your legacy will be defined by the small moments… over time… your long obedience… in the same direction. The staff spoke honestly about how trial and error, viewing...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Hey. So I mentioned on Instagram this would be one of those “save to file” type emails, and I mean that genuinely. I would estimate that not all of you will have an extremely difficult 5 or 8 year old son, but that very likely a third of you (who do have that aged/type of child) will face something very similar. How can I qualify that? I can’t. But after interviewing enough parents during this seasonal saga, I can say it with high degrees of confidence… they’re a different breed. And here’s...
about 2 months ago • 7 min read
Last post, we shared a rather personal and family-shaping development in our home. We can say that we have honestly turned a corner-with much prayer, supplement regiment, counseling, etc -but still very much taking the good with the bad, day by day… such is parenting, no? I (Ben) want to share an update that just so happens to be one of the most profound tests of our parenting journey thus far. In almost 15 years of church leadership, I’ve walked with a small handful of families who have been...
2 months ago • 3 min read
I have so many drafts ready to push out right now, part 1s, 2s and 3s from previous topics; even a “last year of my 30’s, a decade of takeaways” - all on standby because of what’s been going on in our home the past 3 months… and honestly, we love you guys so we want to share our learnings, failings and breakthroughs in real time. Some who know us well might guess it’s the latest addition to our family-baby #12 Benny Mae-as amazing and transformative as that is and she is, that’s not it! We...
3 months ago • 4 min read
Being parents of 11 children (12 come August), we get this question from time to time: “HOW DO YOU DO IT?!” And while it’s not totally clear what’s in the heart of the person asking, we can infer what they mean… How do you keep up?How do you “watch” all of them (keep them safe/alive)?!How do you stay sane (with the rejoinder; ‘I’m having a hard time with 1 or 2!’)? And man, we get it! We know how we look! We certainly know how many kids we have and how craaaazy it seems to our neighbors and...
7 months ago • 3 min read
In this series of posts we’re talking about passing the baton of faith to our children. Two posts ago we talked about “discipleship in the home;” last post we covered the vital relationship between the “church & the home;“ today we’re talking about “how to impart a biblical worldview” to the next generation. Everyday we wake up in “Babylon”… the “formation machine” (Dallas Willard)… the “idol factory” (John Calvin) that is the world and if we think that our kids are gonna catch faith like...
8 months ago • 3 min read
In this series of posts we are talking about passing the baton of faith to our children. Last week we talked about “discipleship in the home;” this week we are covering the vital relationship between the “church & the home;“ and next week we’ll be talking about “how to impart a biblical worldview” to the next generation. And we have to remember that each of these are impossibly hard to do… every family will face the incredible gale force winds of the cultural “formation machine” (Dallas...
9 months ago • 3 min read
Growing up as a Christin college kid, eventually you’re gonna be asked to “share your testimony” and when that moment comes, you better hope you have something dramatic to report! Like how you had an addiction or negligent parents or were suicidally depressed and God came along and radically saved you… I don’t know call it our fixation with the Hollywood story “arc” (good guy>bad guy>conflict>resolution), but for some reason when its your turn to share and you pipe up saying how you were,...
10 months ago • 5 min read
Friends, It only took us a couple months (sorry for the radio silence!) but our parenting with grit and grace podcast is finally here. If you haven’t already checked it out (through our various social channels), we encourage you to do so here: Please feel free to comment there on YouTube with your questions and even topics you’d like us to cover! For audio-only check these out: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/parenting-with-grit-grace/id1806438127?i=1000702108020 Ep 1 | This Is Us Apr 3...
10 months ago • 1 min read