​Last post, we shared a rather personal and family-shaping development in our home.

We can say that we have honestly turned a corner-with much prayer, supplement regiment, counseling, etc -but still very much taking the good with the bad, day by day… such is parenting, no?

I (Ben) want to share an update that just so happens to be one of the most profound tests of our parenting journey thus far.

In almost 15 years of church leadership, I’ve walked with a small handful of families who have been devastated by what we will just call “the wayward child.”

Those stories are filled with all sorts of lessons unto themselves; lessons like:

-friends determine the quality and direction of your life (Andy Stanley)
-a screen/smart phone can be like a loaded gun in the hand of your boy or girl; the data is ever so clear on this now; the consequences can be devastating (consider any one of Jonathan Haidt’s startling data-driven books or podcasts)
-the affects of drugs and alcohol; and yes today’s “harmless” gateway drugs
-the lack of discipline and boundaries in the home (“pay now or pay later”)
-the absence of the father (that Dad is the “headship” covering of the home-offering attachment, security and confidence for all the years to come)
-the destructive power of enabling, co-dependency and utter loss at what to do with adult children

The list goes on and on… all worthy subjects that we hope to cover on this platform.

Of the small handful of families I knew personally who went through the on again, off again horrors of addiction, homelessness, calling the police on your own child, one of them hits closer to home than all the others.

I watched the above details unfold real time. One young man was a former youth ministry student of mine and he would call me from time to time… sometimes high on drugs, other times well medicated and sober.

In the heart of wanting to rescue this young man, I found myself wondering: could we take this young man in, like literally could he come to stay in our home?

Of course with so many young children in the home at the time, it was an impossibility. But it got me thinking, actually it got me thinking about an old Jewish legend about what it was like to “get covered in the dust of your Rabbi’s sandals…”

I won’t go in to all the church history but there are legends of pupils, disciples, students of the rabbi following so close that they aspired to sleep under the Rabbi’s bed-just for a chance of picking up some “intimate detail” of his life and relationship with God.

This was my thinking… maybe if I could just get this young man, have him follow me around for a few weeks-literally all hours of the day and night, maybe-because of the intimacy, because of the proximity-maybe then we could create some separation between him and his old life, old habits, old influences, maybe then, he could be delivered and renewed.

You know it’s one thing to project unto someone else’s parenting journey it’s another altogether when you’re walking in their shoes.

This is what the Lord showed me: this is your moment to test your theory-for your 8 year old son… before we ever reach that day, so that we may never reach that day!

So what’s this look like, in reality?

It means that when he was having a meltdown the other morning-and rylee was hurt trying to restrain him- that now he’s coming to the office with me for the day, sit through a few meetings, maybe even finish his homeschool lessons.

It means that when he was imploding a few days earlier, Rylee brought him to the office and we just went for a walk… we held hands and went for a long walk.
And we talked and we processed his feelings and I shared a parable with him; Matthew 25:14, the parable of the talents.

I told him that there’s 1 talent leaders, 2 talents leaders and 5 talent leaders. I told him he is destined to be a 5 talent leader… and that’s why he’s going through such testing right now.

And that’s something I truly believe about my sweet 8-year old son. I believe in fact he will exceed me in gifting and anointing; I believe many of my kids will. Why? Because I’ve prayed that way for them.

So the question is, parents: what lengths would you be willing to go to save your child-before they even needed saving?

You may look at my life and say, ‘well that’s easy for you to do as a pastor, your workday is flexible!’

And I’m not gonna even rebut that comment, I’ll simply restate the question:

What lengths are you willing to go to, for the sake of your child’s life?

Until next time,

Keep the faith!

-Benjamin & Rylee